Frequently Asked Questions
» What’s a Raisel?
LEMON LOUIE: Wow – what a question – You have to eat us to believe us!
APPLE ANDY: Can they eat us and read this at the same time?
PERCIVAL PEACH:Andy, be Raiselistic, they can eat you and listen to me, right? Raisels are sour, fruit-flavored golden raisins with a light dusting of sugar.
WALLY WATERMELON: How cool is that? We are a healthier alternative to candy, cookies and gummy fruit treats, so no one will get mad when you eat us. Think of us as a simply delicious and nutritious, anytime-anywhere snack.
» Where are Raisels grown?
FLYING OTIS:Raisels are Golden Raisins grown in South Africa and in The United States of America, specifically in California, the land of movie stars!
APPLE ANDY: Is that where they get their sour taste?
PERCIVAL PEACH:Yes. Raisels are specially treated in California, where they go through a super duper top-secret process called “Sourfacation”.
TWITCH: Could you tell me more about it?
PERCIVAL PEACH: I could, but then it wouldn’t be a secret, right?
» Where did the name “Raisels” come from, and how do you say it?
FLYING OTIS: The word “Raisels” comes from an old farming expression, “Reyistala Le Deer,” which means, “Please raise your tractor off my foot.”
APPLE ANDY: No it doesn’t! “Raisels” was inscribed on the currency of the Lost Continent Atlantis. It meant “A Party in your mouth!” It’s pronounced exactly how it sounds.
OZZIE ORANGE: Yea: “It.”
PERCIVAL PEACH:The word “Raisels” is almost like you say “Raisins,” our cousins’ name. Open these files to get a better idea:
Correct pronounciation of Raisels
Pronouncing Raisels in a Library
Pronouncing Raisels in a noisy room
» What makes Raisels a healthier snack than candy or chips?
PUCKISH PATTY:I could kiss you for asking my favorite question. Raisels have 100% of the US Recommended Daily Allowance for Vitamin C, which is pretty much all you need for the whole day. And if you have 2 boxes of Raisels in one day, you’re OK in the Vitamin C department for 2 days. If you ate a billion boxes in a day, you won’t need more vitamin C for…like…ahh…at least a week! All that Vitamin C makes us rich in Antioxidants, too, which is good for your body.
FLYING OTIS: Plus, we’re Fat Free and Cholesterol Free! And we don’t have Artificial Sweeteners or Sodium, either. You’re probably asking yourself, “How do they do it?” and if I were you, I’d be asking myself the same thing, but I’m not you and I know the answer. Our #1 ingredient is dried fruit. DRIED FRUIT! Helllooooow! Golden raisins! Raisins that are golden!
WALLY WATERMELON: Hold on now! “golden” raisins? I thought raisins were just brown.
PERCIVAL PEACH: Nope; there are golden raisins just like golden apples. Andy, you should know about golden apples.
APPLE ANDY:Look, I know my apples, and “golden apples” are delicious.
PERCIVAL PEACH: No – RED apples are delicious! I asked my Granny Smith.
WALLY WATERMELON: I asked my dog, and he said the same thing.
OZZIE ORANGE: I’ve never heard of a dog that talks. What kind his he?
WALLY WATERMELON: Her name is ‘Lucy’ and she’s a Melon Collie.
» How do Raisels compare to sweetened dried cranberries?
APPLE ANDY:My flavor grew up in an apple orchard, but I went to school with a lot of cranberries, so I know about this stuff. Sweetened dried cranberries have 5 times more added sugar than Raisels! Five times! That’s one time for each of our four flavors, plus an extra time because I’m in a good mood.
» Are Raisels guaranteed for quality?
OZZIE ORANGE: Let me put it this way… with all those inspectors and mechanics with big tool belts on and technicians and quality control people crawling around our factory every day, it’s a wonder we can get any sleep at all!
APPLE ANDY: But you won’t hear us complain. Nope! Not us – because that’s our job – GET IT? That-SOUR-job! SOUR? GET IT? HUH? GET IT? SOUR?
PERCIVAL PEACH: Andy…close that pucker of yours!
LEMON LOUIE: Raisels are produced under strict food safety and quality guidelines in the same facility that makes lots and lots of other dried fruit products.
FLYING OTIS:If you try Raisels, and you aren’t 100% delighted, and you can’t give them away or sell them on-line, we will gladly issue a refund. Here’s what you do: tape some money to the box and send it to us at the address below. When we get your mail, we’ll send you back the money. The more you send us, the more you’ll get back!
PUCKISH PATTY: Let’s get serious, guys. We are recognized by companies in our industry as having “superior” manufacturing and production performance levels. Think about it this way, the people that run our manufacturing plant are really, really, REALLY strict and they stand behind us 100%. Which is kind of uncomfortable in the sugar sprinkler. If you have more questions about this, or about getting a refund for your purchase, call us at 800.847.3726 and ask to speak to Mrs. Consumar A. Fares.
» What flavors do Raisels come in?
FLYING OTIS: My Sour Orange Burst is the best flavor there is!
LEMON LOUIE: Get back to your vine Otis. Everyone knows that my Sour Lemon Blast ROCKS!
APPLE ANDY:Pah-leeze! Sour Apple T-K-O is the favorite – that’s what my flavor means; T-K-O – Take Out of the Box and Eat Me!
PERCIVAL PEACH: Ahh… Andy, that’s “Sour Apple “TKO” – Taste Knock Out… that’s why you have boxing gloves on.
WALLY WATERMELON: I’m Watermelon… the new guy in town. My watermelonish sour taste is very authentic. If you closed your eyes and popped a few dozen watermelon Raisels in your mouth, you could hardly tell that you weren’t eating actual watermelon… Well, except for the sour taste and there’s no rinds or seeds… and also a couple dozen watermelons would weight a hundred pounds and could fill a phone booth… Other than that, it’s the same!
APPLE ANDY: Wally, close your pucker.
PERCIVAL PEACH: Speaking of “puckers”, Patty and I can’t get enough of Sour Peach Pucker!
» Can I find Raisels on Facebook?
OZZIE ORANGE:Sure! If you think your friends are cool enough to be Raiselized (Hey – I just made up a word!) tell them to type in www.facebook.com/Raisels
LEMON LOUIE: You can send us your comments, or post your “Raisel Face” pictures on our wall! You could be famous! You could be someone! You could be a contendah!
WALLY WATERMELON: So if I built a scale model of the Taj Mahal out of Raisels boxes, I could post a picture…or if I used a Raisels box to dig a hole all the way to China… I could post a picture on FaceBook? How cool is that?
APPLE ANDY:Hey Louie, maybe you should upload a picture of YOUR face so we can see how goofy you look eating Raisels!
OZZIE ORANGE: You wanna come over here so we can see how goofy you look when I pop you out of this cannon?
»Where can I buy Raisels?
PERCIVAL PEACH:Right now, Raisels can be purchased at these fine stores.
PUCKISH PATTY:Of course, not every store is privileged enough to offer Raisels to their shoppers.
FLYING OTIS:But they could be! We’re working hard to get Raisels into your favorite stores. You can help! Send us
your name, address and the markets in which you prefer to shop, and we’ll show it to their buyers the next time we meet!
APPLE ANDY: Don’t worry, we have lots and lots of Raisels to send out! Frankly, we need a little “breathing room” here at the factory if you catch my drift. I mean, Ozzie Orange is a nice guy an’ all but with all the schtick he’s doing, let’s just say he’s getting under my light dusting of sugar.
» What’s in a Raisel?
OZZIE ORANGE:Raisels contain Golden Raisins, Sugar, Natural Flavor, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid (Vitamin C), & Sulfur Dioxide, and…
LEMON LOUIE:Oh Ozzie, you tell ‘em – crank it out Lucille! What else; Hair of Newt? Eye of Schnauzer? Whadda you trying to do? Put them to sleep?
FLYING OTIS: Allow me. I’ve made a song for this occasion. HIT IT PATTY!
♫♪ Raisels are a healthy snack – Do Dah – Doo Dah
♫♪ And they come in a six-pack! Ask your Grocer now…
♫♪ Our Sour-licious taste, will pucker up your face.
♫♪ Go get some and you will agree. (We’re even Fat and Cholesterol Free!)
APPLE ANDY: Hey Otis, don’t quit your day job.
OZZIE ORANGE: I should know! I went to the Doctor for a checkup. Here’s what he found!
